Monarchy in the UK! Aristocracy It’s got no place in a democracy It’s nothing but hypocrisy When some are born to reign “Let’s put on our bestest whitest sockses Get all dressed up and go kill foxes ‘cause that’s what orthodox is We’ve got traditions to maintain!” It’s an anachronism Not like Mr Rotten’s anarchism Which shed a light upon the schism The separation of the classes It’s still as relevant as ever Our little Johnny sounds quite clever And still the future dreams forever Of liberation for the masses My message shouldn’t be a mystery Let’s help make monarchy history Because my hands are getting blistery From hanging tightly to the edge Meanwhile privilege’s progeny Are enforcing a homogeny As they’re chugging Perignon for free singin’ “We are Family!” –just like the Sister’s Sledge Yes everybody is a cousin They’ve got at least a banker’s dozen And like a bee just can’t help buzzin’ They can’t help sticking with their hive Just place a call to Lady Anne She’ll do the jolly best she can For any blood-related man To keep the club of blood alive Once knew a guy and he was posh But still he hadn’t any dosh We’d go and get a bite of nosh I ‘d pay my way and then the tip What is the point, I’d say to me Of name, land and heredit’ry If you are cheap as cheap can be As cheap as that proverbial chip He sodomized me once on shrooms At least he tried in his front rooms If that was sex then men have wombs I tell ya The boarding schools had warped this lad Kicked out of school and hooked on smack He’d left the hive and not looked back But it’s not hard to pose as slack If all your tabs are paid by dad “It’s important to have an emblem of The things you want to be a semblance of And note the family resemblance of The lineage that shaped the past.” “You’ll see them in the National Gallery And in the spirit of equality We’ve even put them in the part that’s free So all can see our clan is built to last” But the little people get forgotten Just down the mine or pickin’ cotton Don’t get to keep what they have gotten There aint no statues of their kin So if a miner was your great-Grandad A rendering his visage never had He never ordered war nor birthed no fad Til the coal dust did him in Aristocracy Got no place in a democracy Some may call it heterodoxy When I call it weird and vain These silly titles are beyond absurd A princess is like any other bird Still just two tits but by that single word Our deference she can obtain I have a dream like Dr King once said When people everywhere blue, green and red Mutts and well-bred, the hungry and well fed Will recognise we’re all the same So let’s not rest ‘til it’s demolished This silly system is abolished Until the “honours list” is polished Off/ cuz only that will end this shame I’ll never curtsey and I won’t kowtow Except to take applause I will not bow You disagree? Oh ok then, show me how: You can shtart by kisshing my assh Me, I prefer a meritocracy Where talent and hard graft will set you free To be the ultimate that you can be Cuz baby, That’sh what I call Class

Lately certain songs seem to stick in me seem to whirl around repetitiously telling me teaching me healing me musically spelling out that something’s wrong and I say to myself What’s going on? So much trouble in the world So much trouble in the world Today the twin towers in the land of Babylon fell I saw it on Television live and direct from Hell Watched the unbelievable happen before my sleep smeared eyes with shock but not surprise as kamikaze devotees of Thanatos blazed their satanic heroic exodusinto adrenalin death-buzz overdose bidding for oblivion in a method most grandiose turning lower Manhattan just like this into a soot-filled necropolis thus begging a terrible question oh how the fuck did this begin? when will it end when will we end it stop pretending, stop dissembling stop this parroting of chewed clichés that revolve around retaliation and only escalate the situation this war has no fucking enemy fools! it’s an internal viral invasion in this culture of tired boasts ”we are the most”s ”let’s have a toast’s I say yes yes let’s let’s place some bets! five bucks says 50,000 died hey remember that thing with the cyanide? that Jim Jones thing back in 89 let’s all raise a glass of cool-aid wine to the numero uno and most divinely deceptively contrived lie that is us today us as in U.S. of A.-holes for whom the death knell tolls in this the land of the murdered Indian brave the land of the bomb and the home of the slave wow somebody out there must really be pissed let’s all hang a proxy to get our fix just like they did in old Haymarket a fire just needs a flame to spark it the doomsday prophets want to Noah’s ark it it’s Y2K II deja vu give or take a few plot points the panic sets in the xenophobic uglies start to burble in the din don’t you know that it’s true that for me and for you the world is a ghetto don’t you know that it’s true that for me and for you the world is a - people moving out people moving in why? because of the color of their skin run, run, run, but you sure can’t hid An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth hey vote for me and I’ll set you free rap on brother, brother rap on well the only person talkin bout love thy brother is the preacher and it seems nobody’s interested in learning but the teacher segregation determination demonstration integration aggravation humiliation time to question what’s in a nation ball of confusion yeah that’s what the world is today woo hey hey our fix is a dose of good old-fashioned retribution hey that’s the strongly manly solution catch the bastards and watch ‘em die a truth, I mean a tooth, for a why, I mean I I mean who are these monsters who cheer in the streets? did ya see ‘em in Palestine, waving their sheets marked with slogans applauding this blow to their devil but Americans never would sink to their level oh no says the news anchor we will survive! we’re still number one, we’re still broadcasting live this is different from when we dropped bombs on Baghdad watched strikes set to music to make us feel glad that we had such good aim in this cool techy game that we’re tough the right stuff that enough is enough is enough is enough that the president must never be perceived as a powder puff a sissy a wuss or a faggot ‘cause in the death culture all the spoils go to the maggot that lives off the fat of collateral damage so pork up the army and somehow we’ll manage to keep building more bigger bombs than the others to kill foreign sons before they kill our mothers.. “we’re gonna hunt down an’ punish these folks!” said the leader of the free world in between two bad jokes oh fuck said I we are all gonna die this is the guy in charge of our protection bet yer sorry ya stole that election! but then maybe not could it be a dark plot is this the war from within? if so did it just begin if so it has barely but barely but barely begun this twin towers thing just the first pop from a handgun don’t you get to some people this shit is fun! could this be some kinda sick bid for control of your thoughts of your feelings of your e-mail (!) of your soul no it couldn’t be that that they fabricate disaster just to crush the people faster? Hah! They wouldn’t do it! that’s insane you mean kill their own then cast the blame? Now I don’t mean to be a harbinger of ruin or imply that it’s a shoe-in that the power’s about to do in it’s own in its maddest ever ploy to oppress the hoi polloi to sustain the status quo all I am saying is that I think these thoughts but admit that I don’t know Whose side is which and what’s a win and who do you trust to save your skin and will the body count just keep rising higher tell me again – what’s the definition of friendly fire? When your lips move are you a liar? Or do you speak the truth though you may tire stand when you’d like to fall remember they made paperweights out of the Berlin wall Yes we can be heroes everyone of us knows hey I remember how that song goes.. I I can remember standing by the wall the guns shot above our heads and we kissed as though nothing could fall And the shame was on the other side Oh we can beat them forever and ever And we can be heroes Just for one day Whatcha say Oh and speaking of kisses and worlds and wishes And wond’rin what’s gonna happen next it reminds me of that song by X where the angry eloquent punk priestess Exene spits out poetry like lit gasoline... danana danana nana danana danana nana no-one is united all things are untied guess who’s boiling over inside they’ve been telling lies there are no angels there are devils in many ways take it like a man the world’s a mess it’s in my kiss the world’s a mess it’s in my kiss... and yet when I saw the newsclown’s skit seemed like some of ‘em almost relished it seemed like they knew their time was now camera close-up on the furrowed brow but even the disguise was only partly intact for the first time in my life there was a rip in the act the mask was on crooked the hood was pulled back that we verged on the end of times was how it appeared like the time of Armageddon I mean not to be weird but didn’t it kinda seem like Judgement Day? Or maybe just made to look that way Alas! alas! that great city Babylon! In a single hour thy plagues have come A single hour of desolation And the merchants of the earth mourned and swore For none would buy their goods no more The precious stones the wealth of wheat the souls of men the vats of meat and so on and so forth and such perhaps you think I’m a bit touched In the head it’s been said But the tower is toppled and the bodies fall down to the ground hit by lightning that shatters the town streets become detrituts and debris dumps and there on the small screen a couple clasps hands and jumps from the one hundred somethingth floor to be no more so we, my friends and I , discuss this at some length declaring it a kind of strength I mean if you knew you were about to die wouldn’t you step off the ledge and try to fly? why? why not? when one last act is all you got look on the bright side it’s your one and only chance to do the 99 Storey Freefall Dance! make no mistake\ i’m not making light of death just proposing that flight may be the best response in a situation requiring a choice between hurtling through space and incineration both are certain to end in death think I’d take the air for my last breath oh kids these are ancient tremendous tears and the song that comes to mind now is Five Years.. pushing through the market square so many mothers sighing the news had just come over we had 5 years left to cry in the newsguy wept and told us that the earth was surely dying cried so much his face was wet that’s how I knew he was not lying I heard telephones opera house favorite melodies I saw boys with their toys electric guns and TVs my brain hurt like a warehouse I had no room to spare I had to cram so many things to keep everything in there We’ve got 5 years what a surprise 5 years stuck on my eyes 5 years my brain hurts a lot 5 years and that’s all we’ve got but wait a second friends I didn’t come here to be fatalistic to lose all hope in the negative statistics the sadistic ballistics no no no! my friends we need to get SY-NER-GISTIC we need to combine our healthy action we need to resist the cheap distraction resist the urge to split into factions it’s no longer about whose typed up the best thesis here’s a new word can you say SYN-AR-TESIS? That’s a binding or a knitting together like a creative union or a cooperative communion like the photons with their “spooky action at a distance” we can combine and enjoin our energies they will yield without resistance which happens to be synergistic’s other definition in other words we can change things by our own volition trust is our shield love is our ammunition hope is our magic ride our secret weapon is vision as it turns out – we are on a mission! so give yourselves permission to join me in a brief rendition of a favorite rhyme I like to sing war what is it good for absolutely nothing war – HIUH – good god yawl what is it good for – absolutely nothing say it again war – HIUH – good god yawl what is it good for – absolutely nothing say it again nothing say it again nothing say it again nothing say it again.. oh you’ve been a delight so kind and polite thank you ever so much I am touched that you came here tonight the envelope of hope is now open mucho gracias for hearing what I have spoken it’s but a token of my love I’m kind of a nun a none of the above so I leave you for now with a prayer and a bow I hope I have brought a small measure of thought to this “tragic occasion affecting the nation” that you leave feeling wise no need for disguise a few tears in the eyes and a vow of commitment to change this predic’ment as an ally once said in a somewhat overly dramatic voice “we just have to dare to be brilliant dahling and after all, to be daring is within everyone’s choice”

THE BARE NAKED BURKAS Faces...Faces... I wanna see your faces... We’re the bare naked burkas with the latest of crazes: we flash a lot of flesh but we got cloth on our faces Cuz how they gonna do ya for indecent exposure When you’re covering your features so that nobody nobody knows ya? Say you wanna throw a party but you’re short o the flow After buying discount snacks and getting beat on the blow Well you just slip into your burka and go shopping for free Cuz they’ll be trippin’ in the Tesco cuz they all so PC So it’s like no one can see you when you’re casing the aisles All be looking past your shoulder with the fakest of smiles MeanWHILE – in your burka – such a handy device You can stash a crate of Jack and still got room for the ice! While security’s pre-occupied with watching the hoo-dies You and your burka make the exit with the goo-dies If they could see your face they’d see you smile with glee But they can’t – neither can their sucka CCTV! All you spray can artists if a bust aint your fancy Fool, get a burka – I just sent one to Banksy! If you’re dealin with the fuzz and it comes to a battle well seriously now they shoulda had ‘em in Seattle Cuz it’s hard to figure out the perpetrator of a prank running rampant through McDonalds, chucking bricks at the bank When they’re wearing a disguise and you can barely see their eyes If you could make a pos-it-ive ID – well I’d be surprised Activists lissen up Don’t wanna get jerk-ed? Next time you get suited up get booted and burka-ed! If you’re gonna take up stalkin’ then I highly recommend it If you wanna be a flasher I can only defend it If you’re done with a man and wanna send a friend to end it Nothin’s better than a burka to assist with the pretendin’ Cuz you gotta admit that in all o these cases Y’all could never pull it off if I could see your faces.. (faces......faces...faces I wanna see your faces Oh I hope they never ban it like they said in the news It’s a “woman’s choice” to wear it (like some chicks choose a bruise) If you wanna be a package sealed for just one man Baby get yerself a burka just as fast as you can You’ll feel so modest and sweet tiptoeing down the street Not just a piece of meat no trashy eye-candy treat Not like those western ‘hos their noses all exposed tiny skirts evil flirts Jezebel as an English Rose Just wear the sheet try to ignore the heat But can you lift up a corner if you got to... eat? It’s not the law that gotta change but it’s the mind my sisters There’s gotta be equality for misses and misters Don’t care who your god is, if you’re sexy, what your race is But I love all my sisters and I wanna see your faces! (faces......faces...faces I wanna see your faces ) So while I big up the burka for committing a crime When it’s part of a “tradition” that’s been handed through time You gotta ask yourself why and what’s the reason behind Any garment that makes women in-vi-sib-le and blind? If you peek into the history then I’m sure that you’ll see That when looking for a hooker in Twelve Hundred BC Well you wouldn’t want to be hittin’ on the wife of The Man: She’s insulted - you’re arrested and get tossed in the can And if you tried to buy a blowie off your neighbour’s witchy daughter He could legally castrate ya not just feel like he oughta So for maximum convenience of all those concerned So the ladies aren’t offended and the John’s don’t get burned They gave the ladies veils so men could tell apart: The virgin, the mother, the nun, and the tart And that’s the reason for the burka tho I’ll make no excuses For finding that it has some other really good uses! We’re the bare naked burkas with the latest of crazes: we flash a lot of flesh but we got cloth on our faces Cuz how they gonna do ya for indecent exposure When you’re covering your features so that nobody knows ya? We’re the bare naked burkas with the latest of crazes: we flash a lot of flesh but we got cloth on our faces Cuz how they gonna do ya for indecent exposure When you’re covering your features so that nobody knows ya? Don’t care who your god is, if you’re sexy, what your race is But I love all my sisters and I want to see your faces! .........faces......faces...faces faces......faces...faces................. I wanna know ya...

Never trust a man who doesn't get on with his mater he'll either be a woman-hater or a chronic masturbator if he says he'll ring you up just say you'll text him - later Don't! Then take the next outgoing flight to the equator there sitting on the sunny sands enjoy a glass of rum be glad you didn't spend your days with a man 'oo 'ates 'is mum it's likely that he lacks the skills required to make you cum and probable he will expect you'll take it up the bum!

sometimes i wonder if there’s something wrong with me because sometimes and on occasion i’ve been known to turn down perfectly good offers of free sex often with attractive people with whom it’s not inconceivable that a night locked in passionate embrace – all questions or doubts as to the authenticity of said passion left to one side for the moment - might not be wholly without its pluses and yet i walk away from these potential nocturnal encounters and i wonder why and the answer is this it’s because i start thinking and what i start thinking about is how if i have sex with this person it will mean a co-mingling of energies we’ll be cohabitating the same space swapping spit we’ll be bending time together and showing ourselves as naked and ridiculous we’ll be intermingling our dna we’ll risk exposure to viruses there may well be a confessional period during which we feel compelled to spill our deepest and most allegorically transparent secrets and which will be acutely embarrassing in later reflection we may reveal a particular fantasy that the other person finds odious or vice versa i don’t know which is worse it could turn out that an unfortunate lack of good taste in undergarments is exposed or that a refresher course in matters of basic hygiene is overdue despite the deceptively clean exterior a divisive difference of political opinions might disrupt the fragile boundaries of pillow talk or wildly divergent dietary theories result in a disastrous breakfast-after old religious battles might be revived within us the march to arms of our distant ancestral clans still clamouring to right ancient wrongs we may find that each other sadly reinforces the altogether none too positive view arrived at thus far of those of the other’s type or worse we may convince ourselves that we’ve found love and thus start seeing each other regularly a few times a week buy extra toothbrushes, that sort of thing exchange house keys perhaps publicly demonstrate our sexual partnership by the use of non-verbal signals i.e. hold hands and attend to the slightest disarray of the other’s clothing we may thrill to the other’s presence and feel desolate in its absence we may not get sexually bored after 6 months we may feel we are happy and then one day suddenly and without warning one of us may be unexpectedly killed in a freak accident or fall in love with someone they run into at a high-school reunion...an old flame... or turn out to be a secret cocaine kingpin with another family back in colombia because you never know and so although there is this small chance that we could spend a wonderful night together in which we divulge no personal details have fantastic underclothes share a full english breakfast and never see each other again it’s all the other possibilities i worry about which is why instead of being in a single’s bar, or at a club night, or clad in latex at a fetish party, or at one of those weird speed dating things, i am at a poetry event where everyone is sensitive and deep and couldn’t possibly have horrible politics or at the very least if i do get approached i will know right from the very start to enjoy but not believe for a minute the lovely words which might lead me to accepting an offer of free sex