The Tragic Tail of Little Tiger (San Francisco 1999​-​2001)

by Little Tiger

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about

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A TRAGIC TAIL

Someday I will tell the whole story in full, but for now here is a synopsis plus there are further notes about the production as well as what was going on at the time, on each of the tracks' individual pages.

IN THE BEGINNING

It's the story of a group of talented San Francisco-based musicians who started getting together in recording/jam sessions in 1998 (see Fiend and Shimmer collections for events immediately prior to this), and before they knew it, got offered an indie deal on the strength of a 3 song demo. Now-defunct TK Records, from Portland, Oregon, was at that time riding high with guaranteed distribution via Capitol Records, and having had a recent success with Dandy Warhols, who then made the jump from TK to Capitol for their next album. A similiar trajectory was predicted for Lil Tiger. It was a totally solid group (Tim Mooney, Michael Belfer, Joe Goldring and myself, credits below) with no weak links in any position, a pedigree of experience between us all and neither too young nor too old; seemed like we could avoid being pigeonholed. I feel like a bit of a twat admitting it now, but in the interests of full disclosure I should say that yeh, I did think that with this bunch of guys, I could definitely pull off that cheekiest of stunts: commercial success plus artistic integrity.

But instead of a record deal changing our fortunes for the better, it destroyed the whole project. Through Tim and Joe, we had always had access to our own 16-track studio and in fact, recorded every time we met. We could've released independently if we hadn't been offered a deal so quickly. It was early days yet, but the Internet was about to explode. With the crystal clarity of hindsight I can see that we so didn't need to rack up debt at a big posh studio and no more did we then need to have our almost-finished tapes locked away, ultimately to be erased.

THE MEGA-MERGER OF '99

For those not aware of what was going on in the mainstream music industry then, 1999 saw the mega-merger of media giants RCA and Universal happen, sending financial tsunamis throughout the entire global industry (and triggering wave after wave of even bigger mergers over the next few years) with the result being that, TK Records folded, the studio bill didn't get paid (many other bands had to default too) and ultimately went into liquidation! I had 7 friends in '98 with either publishing or recording deals, going all the way up to a guy I worked with at a restaurant who nabbed a 3/4 million dollar deal with Virgin records, the talented Jimmy Luxury (inventor of swing-hop), who was even advance-booked on Letterman. Two years later not one of those records was out, some of them never came out.

Tim had one friend, singer/songwriter, Mark Kozelek, who was doing pretty well already, under the name the Red House Painters, and had graduated from trendy boutique label 4AD to equally pukka but significantly bigger Island Records. He was soon-to-be-almost -famous already (wink, wink) but even he wasn't safe. I remember him telling us how the A&R guy responsible for his record lost his job as part of the downsize fallout from the merger and literally from one day to the next, his phone was disconnected and when Mark went by the office the doors were padlocked. Even established artists like that, who already had proven track records of sales and a fan base, were having trouble placing their orphaned albums with any label, what hope did a quirky new band, whose members were all over 30, have in that kind of climate?

Well so what, boo hoo one might say, I mean a lot of people lost their jobs and their record deals, what makes Lil Tiger's tale so tragic? Lil Tiger was just one of many casualties of that merger, the human collateral that never gets taken into consideration when the corporate raiders get dollar signs in their eyes or make their windfall announcements at shareholder meetings. Let's put things in perspective and not fall victim to self-pitying terminal uniqueness already!

THE END

But there was another factor in our case that in fact does compound the tragedy further, we didn't just lose a deal, we literally lost our work. Due to the fact that we were using a combo of digital and analogue we were mastering onto luxurious fat reels of expensive 2 inch magnetic tape, with its warm tone and extra headroom.

And it is like a dagger in my chest, ladies, gents and all-inbetween, to now reveal that in the totting up of studio assets during its liquidation, this tape ended up being valued as raw material, at so much per foot, while its priceless contents - our unreleased album - had no monetary value whatsoever. In fact it devalued the tape as the tape was now "used".

Whereas if we wanted to buy the tape, we were liable for its full value of accrued recording time debt under the terms of the original deal.

It was horribly unfair but legally the studio couldn't sell us the tapes at the scrap price it ultimately got when sold as part of the assets of the studio. Of course I had no idea this was even a possibility until after it happened or I would've gone in there and stolen them first. It would have been nice of the owners, who were friends of ours (one of them Craig Silvey was co-producing us), to give us the heads up so we could've done a quick snatch and grab but I guess they lost everything too. I can't really blame them for not trying harder to save our record. I guess.

I was in the process of trying to raise money to buy the masters when Toast Studios went into final liquidation. It's pitiful to think of, but all I needed at that point was 15 grand. Although we made a record that would have cost 200 grand in terms of the actual time and gear used, we had only racked up a bill of 30 grand or so at Toast. This was due to things such as the amount of raw material we were able to bring across from our original studio, our inside status with Toast's owners, getting weird midnight slots and jumping into dead space between bigger, richer, bands and so forth. Plus Craig Silvey was really into the project and had waived all his producer's fees for points on the record.

So I'd managed to negotiate the knock-down price of the tapes to 15 thousand, which I still didn't have a penny of 6 months later. Still I wanted to keep staying in touch and letting them know it wasn't abandoned, but when I called to say I was still trying to raise the money, it was already too late. The tapes had been sold as "scrap", for their value as tape - our album was going to be erased. I've rarely felt more instantaneously sick in all my life as when the sheepish studio manager told me this over the phone. Only the news-of-suicide or fatal accident phone calls beat that moment in the heart-sinking stakes. The poor guy had become kind of a friend too, after our many months in and out of Toast, and I imagined I could hear the shame of helplessness crackling his cheek skin through the telephone wire.

There are those who might say, "well, so what, why couldn't you just play the songs and record them again?" But as you read through the individual track notes here, the answer to this becomes clear. The studio was being used as an instrument, to its fullest capacity and the recordings were not just documents of good songs, they were little individual artworks unto themselves and entirely impossible to recreate due to the variety of methods used, analogue gear, and random elements such as the Oblique Strategies. There is a reason why phonorecords of songs have their own copyrights independent of the material. Yes, the song is the thing, but a recording is also its own thing. Otherwise why would people bother to cover songs? These recordings were unique and categorically not replicable. That is the tragedy. We also spend a fuck of a long time on it.

THE AFTERMATH

Looking back it seems crazy that the 4 of us didn't come together in a more effective way to secure those tapes during the vital few months when everything was falling apart. The truth is that it was hard to keep the momentum and focus going after taking such a hit, plus there were tensions in the band that stopped this uniting. Michael Belfer, despite having a busy schedule gigging with an absurd-but-$igned-to-Geffen band called Black Lab, resented the work that Mooney and Goldring and I did during his absences. Actually he resented Goldring, who'd joined us after we got a deal, full stop, regarding him as both an interloper and All Team Mooney which Belfer found threatening. So there was a lack of cohesion in the aftermath of the deal collapse.

Another factor was that all three of those guys were working session pros, either as players or producers. They needed to get on with the professional musician side of things and couldn't really afford to spend so much time or energy trying to flog what seemed like a very dead horse indeed. Mooney had recently gotten married and he and Joe were developing their own studio clientele at new premises and working on other projects that were uncomplicated by all this mess. Belfer was in afore-mentioned band in Geffen's B-string. It was paid work.

A couple or 3 other people, most impressively our manager Robert Bennett, stayed on and worked for free for as long as they could, trying to resurrect things but our timing couldn't have been worse in terms of what was happening in the industry. Everything just froze for literally 18 months. Eventually, everybody had to move on.

For me it was more complicated, as I think it always is if you're the singer and lyricist, the front-person. When you write and sing the words, your identity is always going to be a lot more bound up in the publication of a personal artistic expression. You can't just say, "oh well, I'll re-use that riff over here...", in quite the same way as an instrumentalist. A song once written, is a complete thing to its singer-author. So each time one of these projects has folded, for me that's meant saying goodbye to a whole raft of material. I only have maybe three or four songs that have had a life beyond their original version with original lineup. Which partially explains my devotion to recording I guess. At least it's all been pretty well-documented.

But getting out there and being a paid singer, well that's something I've never been great at figuring out how to do anyway. So I guess all of those factors put together explain why I was the only one still trying to buy the tapes off Toast for a year or so after the band was over, and why I'm the one who's finally doing something about it now, even so long after the fact. A lot of people were heartbroken by what went down and I'm in no way trying to minimize their losses or sadness or to big up my own. But it's also true to say that while everyone connected with Lil Tiger cared a lot, I cared the most. Michael and Tim were nearly a decade older than me and had already had a measure of previous successes in the recording arts. Joe was a young un but a real go-getter and heavily in demand as a bassist, guitarist, engineer and producer. Although he contributed a lot to Lil Tiger, and was as bummed as the rest when it folded, it wasn't his pet project or life-changing stuff.

Again, it was different for me. I had crossed over from a fine-arts background in experimental theatre and jazz improv in my 20s, a career that had been going well when I was entranced by the House of the Rising Sun, so to speak, and pledged my soul to being in bands instead. I'd been into the recording arts since I was a teenager, had lived at various collectives that included home studios until gradually it had taken over from my interest in the strictly performing arts. Thus began an odyssey that had taken me to New York, then LA and finally back to San Francisco.

At the time I met Michael Belfer, (who then got us together with Tim who then brought in Joe) I was licking my wounds from two previous record-deal mishaps in a row, one major, one indie.

Lil Tiger was third time unlucky for me in a series of vicissitudes that occupied nine years of my life with very little results achieved in the normal career sense. It was a heavy, heavy blow. I started to feel like I was cursed to make great records that only a few people would ever hear!

So accepting that this creation was just relegated to the dustbin forever was something I could never do no matter how hard I tried. And I did try to forget, to just fucking leave it in the past already. I didn't want to be stuck like a broken record myself.

Life does go on and I've been involved in many projects since then, but I've stayed in the underground, albeit the international underground, even going back to experimental theatre and writing for performance. I don't know if I would've found my way back to the written word, other than lyrics and poetry, if rock'n'roll woulda worked out for me. I've found in my many years in the arts underground indie4Evah scene, there is and always has been lots of great music-making and performance going on. I've met, played, recorded and performed with some fascinating people, some amazing musicians in a variety of styles and with unusual instrumentation. Some of these are even making a living from their artwork, just not going through the regular channels, doing it on their own terms. Judged by the quality of the output, if not the remuneration or wide-renown, I don't feel ashamed of my career.

But every so often I would pull out the CDs of those almost finished Lil Tiger tracks that we managed to escape with and listen again and think, "no, but, it was really gonna be a good record!" If I was ever going to do anything that would emerge out of the underground, I think that was kind of it. I still think it sounds good. The passage of time hasn't hurt it at all, even though it was never mastered and the mixes aren't perfect, positively bad in a couple of cases.

A few other friends of the band and true believers who'd been around from inception to dessication (such as the valiant Joshua Heller) also never let Lil Tiger's flame totally go out. From time to time they would bring it up and say, why don't you just put it out yourself?

Litigation and the ongoing validity of various signed documents hung over the carcass of Lil Tiger for a while after it woz killed and so that was one reason why at first I never did anything more than self-bootleg the material, rotate tracks on Myspace, once it had been invented, and occasionally I'd put it or individual tracks on home-made CDs to distribute to my own circle.

Later, thought still unhappy it never came out, I wondered what the point was of belatedly releasing unfinished music from a band that didn't exist anymore? It seemed like a giant pain in the arse and a great way to poke at an old wound, so I just kept trying to let it go.

Today however, it's incredibly simple to self-publish, self-distribute, via the Web. If these tools had existed ten years ago, this whole disaster might never have happened - it certainly would have been simpler to salvage.

When I watched/read the beautiful and moving Web-book-documentary "Welcome to Pine Point" by the Boggles, essentially a multi-media memorial to a Canadian mining settlement, I felt that there was a connection to the Lil Tiger story; in both cases, corporate decision-making had devastating impact on disparate lives, although in the case of Pine Point, not just an album but an entire town was erased.

It gave me the idea for creating a Requiem for a Lost Tape, in the same vein of this new art-form the Boggles were pioneering. I wrote to them with a synopsis, explaining the connection to Pine Point and they were kind enough to write back very encouragingly, that it was an intriguing story to be told and they were interested.

This is my first step towards making something happen in that direction. Ideally I'd like to hire the Boggles themselves to do it. People like that can't work for free, understandably. It's incredibly time-consuming. So, all offers from angels gratefully considered.

EPILOGUE 2012

After a trip to LA this January, a friend (bassist and electronic musician/artist Jake Rivera, who's been in his share of genius little-heard bands himself) suggested I start using this online platform to unearth my chequered past and so I started putting up all the "suppressed" archives of my almost laughably disaster-prone musical career when I got back to England in March. I was 3/4 done with putting up this Lil Tiger collection and writing the notes but besides the technical side of things, it's quite emotionally tiring work, reliving the whole thing. Guess that's why I put it off for so long.

So anyway I'd stopped and taken a break when I got the awful news that Tim Mooney, the pulse of Lil Tiger, had met his untimely death, June 14th, 2012.

The guy who never missed a beat died too young because his heart stopped working. What a terrible irony.

I can't even imagine the sorrow of his surviving family and close friends back there in California because Tim was a genuinely great person to be around. His personality made it possible for the more volatile people in this group to work together for a time. Michael and I used to fight. Joe used to fight with Michael. But even Michael couldn't pick a fight with Tim. He'd just get this faintly amused and puzzled look if anyone was ever acting like an unreasonable asshole which had a very extinguishing effect.

His presence is definitely going to be missed by those who were around him a lot. Even though I hadn't seen Tim in probably 8 years, it hit me pretty hard.

Joshua Heller (of yet another secretly legendary band, the Black Athletes, my first teacher in recording arts and messenger of the P-Funk), one of our biggest champions, was appropriately enough the one to tell me the news and said he'd been listening to Lil Tiger ever since he'd heard and how great Tim's playing was. I was absolutely devastated to hear that Tim was gone, immediately thought of his wife Jude who was our band photographer and his daughter and put the tracks on loud so I could cry. Petaluma, where the family lives, was also where I had lived for a couple of years on and off before I left the US and so many bittersweet memories came flooding back. Tim's playing never ceased to amaze me but it amazed me all over again in light of his recent premature demise. The whole dang thing still sounds pretty fresh to me and I've heard it a thousand times.

I believe this collection of recorded works features some of Tim's best work as a co-writer, as well as shining examples of the world-class drumming for which he is already celebrated. It was gutting when the project was ruined by the very machinery that was supposed to support and promote it. But it is even more depressing to think I'll for sure now never get to play any of these songs again with Tim. I always held out hope that would happen somehow someday.

But it would give me great pleasure and rectify the situation to a degree, if more people were to know of it and to listen to this phonorecord. I listen to it now and I still feel really proud that I was part of such a lengthy and involved creative process with such a talented and diverse group, even though the sorrow for what happened is still there.

That sorrow is now compounded by the painful knowledge that if Lil Tiger ever does gain any kind of wider exposure and appreciation such will definitely be posthumous for at least one member now.

Thus, I'd like to conclude this recollection by dedicating this collection's much-delayed release to Tim Mooney, a great guy and a stellar musician, the drummer and literally the heartbeat of Lil Tiger. His playing alone makes the record worth listening to and there are even quite a few other good reasons too.

***

I've publisehd an elegy for Tim on my blog at 66witches.wordpress.com

(I know that should be "eulogy" really, but I like the musical and poetic connotations of "elegy" so am going to be deliberately incorrect.)

***

LEGAL STUFF

I still retained all the original signed agreements between all the members and even though expired, intended to honour them in spirit. I will look at them, but seem to recall that I agreed to give up my entitlement to 50% for lyrics plus an equal share of the musical composition rights, and instead to equally share everything between all members 4 ways, regardless of differences in contribution (real or perceived) on a song-by-song basis, and in this way to forestall any disputes between other members, as I am giving up the most.

In the event, once again, that any monies are ever raised, I'd also like to give Craig Silvey the points he never got and that were also agreed. I heard other sad news recently that Thor, the ex-owner of TK, is essentially homeless today. That was the beginning of the end for him. So if any real money is ever raised I'd love to somehow find him and give him back the $25 grand he did spend. What happened wasn't his fault at all and he really loved the band.

I'd also expect Joe, Michael and myself, to agree to donate back an additional 10%, collectively, derived from our shares back to the Tim Mooney Memorial Fund.

The other co-owners of Toast may, however, consider themselves paid in full as they have already received monies for the tape that they sold as scrap.

- Diana Rosalind Trimble, July, 2012, East Sussex, England
******************************************************************

credits

released December 31, 2000

Photo by Linda Serbu, from live show at the Roxy, Los Angeles, 1999

Written and recorded between 1998-2000

Michael Belfer - guitars, effects, sherman noise filter, synth tones
Joe Goldring - Bass, samples, engineering
Tim Mooney - Drums, samples, weird old keyboards, engineering
Diana Trimble - vocals, lyrics, electric piano

Recorded at Pigshead Studio, SF and Toast Studios SF
Engineered by Craig Silvey, Tim Mooney and Joe Goldring
Produced by Craig Silvey and Lil Tiger

All songs, musical concepts, production ideas, etc. by Lil Tiger, a collaboration.

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license

Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

about

Diana Rosalind Trimble New Orleans, Louisiana

After being discovered by Bobby McFerrin as a young vocal improviser in San Francisco, I continued to sing and write in experimental performance ensembles that remain important in the history of the 80s & 90s Bay Area arts scene, followed by one decade of tangling with the music biz in LA & NYC (read Little Tiger on here), then another in Europe, always making records of collabs along the way! ... more

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Track Name: Narrow Ledge
He navigates a narrow ledge
It's obvious he's been to the edge
And way beyond it
Holy liar
Fool saint prophet

He is not afraid
Afraid of anything
He stretches out his arms and says
Inside this circle
I am King
King of Nothing

See you tomorrow
When you get out
I'll bring you flowers
If you get out

When you get out of here

Half the circumference of a star
Is not by half as far
From where you were
To wherever you are

He is not afraid
Afraid of anything
He stretches out his arms and says
Inside this circle
I am King
King of Nothing

See you tomorrow
When you get out
I'll bring you flowers
If you get out

If you get out of here

See you tomorrow
When you get out
Track Name: Aint that the way
I can hardly remember you
And you used to be my measure
Against which I held experience
The basin in which love was tallied and weighed
But the cicatrix your leaving left has started
to fade
Aint that the way....aint that the way...
Aint that the way....aint that the way...
Oh the sorry folly
Of our silly feelings
And how is that I have gained this passage
On the ferry of forgetting
Down the river Lethe where the past dissolves
Into particles of nothing
Leaving less a shadow
Than a negative trace...
Aint that the way....aint that the way...
Aint that the way....aint that the way...
Oh the sorry folly
Of our silly feelings
Track Name: Never is my cake
Live, work, know, growl...
Bleed green worry
Seep secret dirt
Sip a blue glass smile
Like broken candy
Wanting and waiting all the while...

*
And you
You are never here enough
And like every fool
Never
is my cake
Never
is my cake
Never
is my...
*

I wait
Slow wishes melt
It doesn't ring
Take a hold of almost
And pluck its little wings

With my sober teeth
I chew on hope
And suck the maybe-marrow
underneath

*
And you
You are never here enough
And like every fool
Never
is my cake
Never
is my cake
Never
is my...
*

Sip a blue glass smile
Like broken candy
Wanting and waiting all the while...

*
And you
You are never here enough
And like every fool
Never
is my cake
Never
is my cake
Never
is my...
*
Track Name: A.I.
Human wants to be a God-man
And make a man-machine
Certain he can someday somehow
Make it do something more than think

I wonder
Can he make it feel?
I wonder
Would it lie and steal?
Could it ever
Re-invent the wheel?
I wonder
Can it ever be real?

Scientist, philosopher
Mechanic of the soul
Tries with pliers and copper wires
To build a living doll

I wonder
Can he make it cry?
I wonder
Would it wonder "why"?
Could it ever
Fall in love and sigh?
I wonder
Can he make it die?

I wonder
Can he make it feel?
I wonder
Could it ever be real?

Could it ever be real?
Track Name: Comet Anxiety
Well
Here come the comet
Tail of fire scratch the sky
People say
The signs are showing
Time will end and so will I

But first I must
Do everything
Because
I could be living for the last time
Living for the last time
Living for the last time
Living for the last time

Well
Here come the comet
Tail of fire scratch the sky
People say
The signs are showing
Time will end and so will I

But first I must
see more of you
Because
I could be living for the last time
Living for the last time
Living for the last time
Living for the last time
Track Name: Restless again
Maybe I'll be a better friend
Go back to school, open my mail
Pay back my debts, read all my books
Maybe I'll take the veil

I'll call my mother on Saturdays
I won't go to discos or bars

Maybe I'll move
to London
Maybe London
Maybe Mars

Maybe I'll take up something
Stop watching TV, run every day
Clean out my closet and answer the phone
Maybe I'll study ballet

*
Oh oh restless again
Restless again....
*

Maybe I'll learn to speak Russian
Collect broken glass, write in red ink
Form some new habits
Wear my hair down
Change everything that I think

Maybe I'll give my possessions away
So I can have nothing to lose

*
Oh oh restless again
Restless again....
*

Maybe London, maybe Mars
Maybe I'll move to London
Maybe London
Maybe Mars
*

Maybe I'll move....
Track Name: Down to be Saved
You have never had
Anybody die on you
And you never lost your heart
To a jade
And you never sold your bed
To keep your roof
And you never used your blood
In trade

You've never been there
Never gone down to be saved
You've never been there
Never gone down to be saved
You've never been there
You've never been there

You have never gone
Past the point where you can wade
Never had to feel
The cracking of your shell
Never drowned your fears
In rapture
Never climbed too high
And never fell

You've never been there
Never gone down to be saved
You've never been there
Never gone down to be saved
You've never been there
You've never been there
Track Name: February & the Mayfly
Words
Tears
Palaces
Fireworks
Contours of the body
Coastlines curved by time's erosion
All will be gone
As goes the Mayfly

War
Rain
Innocence
Long eyelashes
Fame
Joy
February and the Mayfly

Sieze all there is
And hold it
And then
Release it

See all there is
To hear
To taste
To feel
Because you know

It's only temporary
It'll all be over
Nothing lasts forever
Whatever it is
Sieze it and release it
Feel it all and let it
Go
Track Name: Turnstone
Your light - a path i swallow
til the green is born and Murder walks
it turned and in a shallow fit
the pretty herd all crowded in

i turn a mile
i falter i falter
throw me a hurdle
the stones are turning...

Wonder over-spun and wrenched a knee
stone out of place
that final chair forlorn and woe-begotten
stand me in a hallowed corner
right my wrong and beg the throng

to ring the chime
stand me some time
before it turns
sell me a rhyme
feed me a line
stand me some time

throw the game
throw the game
throw the game

rattle my bones
don't leave me alone
un-turn my stone

stand me some time
climb the steeple
save me from the funny people

my stone
standing stone
turning to stone
Track Name: Palisades
Each heavy second
Thick with sound
And chained to my empty ache
Drops down a lonely chasm
A leaden feather
Of the offering bird I gave you
And you pushed
You pushed it over

Once you sang a road
An empty road
I thought to wander round
Love is like a blind walk
On the steep edge of the Palisades
That drop 20,000 feet down

*
And oh the line
The line that moves
That isn't ever where it was
Oh the line
That marks my trespass

*

Lost in my travel along your borders
Your unforgiving hairpin corners
I cannot see the time before
But from this high ridge of alone
I see your fence
The line I crossed

I see the labour
The path of rocks
The steep and narrow path
Where lost I tried to turn around
But found
That going up no matter what
Was easier by far
Than coming down

*
And oh the line
The line that moves
That isn't ever where it was
Oh the line
That marks my trespass

*
Track Name: Call to the I
soul shudder slipping
breath is endless
all no more never
beautiful shock by light
fall flooding sleep
talking prayer hand
disappear

shock flooding never
end is breathless
all in light sleeping
innocent I began
Call to the I
sound invisible
no fear

*
perigean moon
rising o'er the balcony
shoulder over shoulder
I see the sea

red and yellow blossoms
stark against the sky
innocent I began
Call to the I

*

sweet sugar television
question answer
no talking
favorite saviour
victory love
moody India
tear away

torn question
moody sugar
favorite lover
talk answer
India fall away
sweet victory
television eye
saviour say

*
perigean moon
rising o'er the balcony
shoulder over shoulder
I see the sea

red and yellow blossoms
stark against the sky
innocent I began
Call to the I
Call to the eye
Track Name: Fever Dreams
before the time before
there was a drug called heaven
as children we had known it
but it was forgotten long since
then
i thought for a moment -
"the back yard has blossomed!"
but it was only some old leaves
covered in a thick red
snow
oh!

fever dreams

pull the string pull the chain
make the song start over
when it plays to the end then
it starts beginning again
i can never show you this
or you might think
i am always always
home
oh!

fever dreams

image of you
some kind of sweet creation
your hands have eyes I
feel them looking at me now
the temperature and colour of cat's eye diamonds
we are magnetic copper coils
hissing and clanging in the
snow
oh!

fever dreams

before the time before
there was a drug called heaven
Track Name: Dear Overnight Guest
Dear Overnight Guest

Thank you for an unremembered hour.
Please be gone by the time I return from the shower.
Before whiskey wears off and I start to feel the shame.
Because I cannot recall your name.

Please don't take offense at anything I wrote.
I don't hate you.
It's just I would rather leave a note.

The kitchen's down the hall.
There's some coffee on the stove.
And there's cab-fare on the table but I'm thinking that you drove.

Dear Overnight Guest

We shared a drunken sigh.
Now I'd like to tell you, thank you.
And goodbye.

Dear Overnight Guest....
Track Name: All Tore Up
through the light well
sleep came sliding
and with it stolen pictures of blurred history
in one of which
i saw you slipping over the rails
and one in which i watch you
while i walk away

i tore you down
i tore you down
can you forgive me
i'm all tore up
i'm all tore up
can you forgive me

i'd like to apologise
or leave a message
i'd like to say hello i'm glad you're still alive

i'm all tore up
because i tore you down
i'm all tore up
cuz I tore you down
can you forgive me

we dared eachother to jump from the roof
to feel the thrill of frail velocity
then sick with tears of rage
we filled with dust
left from bones of glass that shattered as we fell

i'm all tore up
because i tore you down
can you forgive me
i'm all tore up
because i tore you down
can you forgive me
Track Name: Windmills of Your Mind
written by Michel Le Grand and Alan & Marilyn Bergman
Track Name: Curious
Curious

She is like an ocean
When she walks I feel a wave
I want to flow into her darkness
Like water in a cave

I feel damaged and ragged
need to be kissed
Because of her skin and her magical wrists

She’s the kind of girl
She’s the kind of girl

Her body is a boulevard
Her heart a busy street
If I get stuck in her traffic jam
At least it will be sweet

I feel ruined and dizzy
and don’t understand
For once in my life
I wish I was a man

She’s the kind of girl
She’s the kind of girl

She’s the kind of girl that makes me curious
She’s the kind of girl that makes me curious

Curious...

She is like an orange
That I peel with my teeth
Pull apart the pieces
For the honey underneath

I feel drunken and foolish
and kinda confused
What am I choosin’ if
She’s what I choose?!

She’s the kind of girl
She’s the kind of girl

She’s the kind of girl that makes me curious
She’s the kind of girl that makes me curious

She’s the kind of girl that makes me curious
She’s the kind of girl that makes me curious

She’s the kind of girl that makes me curious
She’s the kind of girl that makes me curious

Curious...
Curious...